Not a lot of people know this, but in Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, when they sing about dancing “in the new old-fashioned way” they mean anal.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 8, 2018
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Goodbye, Apone. RIP Al Matthews pic.twitter.com/MsxXFpPBPB
— Duff Goldman (@duffgoldman) September 24, 2018
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Thanks to Paul McCartney, now when people ask about my 25 year relationship with Andy Richter, I can say, “we’re friends but we’re not ‘masturbate-together’ friends.”
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 15, 2018
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@robdelaney pic.twitter.com/Qf7ys2YPU8
— Kev Rich (@kevantrich) September 12, 2018
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AIDE 1: How do we make the moron happy today?
AIDE 2: This is probably too stupid, but what if we told him he set the presidential record for most years since 9/11?
TRUMP: https://t.co/BEPP0hVsBc
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) September 11, 2018
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If you’re in Hollywood today, go get it! ?@AdamPerryLang? https://t.co/8vy8F4QQmC
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) August 29, 2018
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The time has finally come… On Aug. 27 at 11:30 AM I’ll be getting my very own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (6914 Hollywood Blvd., right across the street from the Chinese Theatre). The ceremony is FREE and open to the public, so come on down!!
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) August 13, 2018
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What’s the new show going to be about pic.twitter.com/doSHixQqWu
— Swear Trek (@swear_trek) August 4, 2018
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When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted yr days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the au pic.twitter.com/eG24BA6FLF
— your eyes. my tweets. let's make this happen!! (@ChrisCaesar) August 4, 2018
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