He’ll ski on your lunch, what a prick.

Link to Video on YouTube

DLOD: Doing lots of drugs
SBBQ: Sex Barbecue
OMGB: Old man gangbang
PSMD: Parents suck mad dick
NMH: Need more heroin
PMC: Prolapsing my colon
LKAB: Let’s kill a bum
MHIO: My hole is open

..that you touch on average about 12 dicks per day that shared contact with unwashed hands and door handles.

That is what I thought about when I saw this post.

Expanding your vocabulary via Urban Dictionary.

New New guy at work said: “Yeah, I got Flash installed on my Mac I am going to get around to learning how to use it soon.”

Me: “Well, now that would just be a giant waste of your time, right?”

NNG: (polite laugh)

NNG (inside his head): “Oh, yeah right I probably shouldn’t bragged about that to seem impressive on my 3rd day. Shit, and right after I talked about how much I love iOS and Apple products. I am a big Apple fanboy who still thinks learning Flash is a good idea.”

Me: “So I don’t have to talk to you anymore now right?”

That cake is just all kinds of AWESOME! I drew that logo so many times on folders, papers, notebooks in High School. Why the fuck did I never think to make a cake? As stoned as I was during High School listening to SLAYER cake would have been good munchies.

Yes, SLAYER is one of the words that I capitalize every time I type is. Like BEER and FREE.

There is nothing about this blog post that is not totally awesome. Except for the fucking smily which I removed.

Banging A Brand New Hot Tattooed Emo Slut:

So yeah… again… don’t mean slut in a bad way,  Nothing wrong with being a slut if that is how you roll then do the damn thing ho!!!!  any way, today i banged a brand new girl named tara jane for povpunx.com.  she has a chelsea cut so at first i thought she might be a nazi.  i am cool with that because i really like banging nazi girls.  being a jew i am always a little nervous about this, but maybe that is what makes my dick hard about it.  turns out she isn’t a nazi so i guess that goes out the window… well maybe she is a nazi, i honestly don’t know.  i was worried about asking her because she had my penis in her mouth and if she found out i was a jew she might have bit it off.   she seemed pretty cool so i am going to decisively say that she was definitely not a nazi.    i kind of secretly hope she was a nazi though what you thing? nazi or no nazi?

(Via James Deen Blog.)

This is one of my favorite iOS 5 features. I know so many people with iPhones.