hjays

I'm concerned that the purple kangaroo that only Trump can see or hear that keeps urging him to ignore all experts and advisors and just keep doing whatever occurs to him at the moment hasn't received proper security clearances. — Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) March 21, 2018 from http://twitter.com/Ihnatko via IFTTT

Hmm. That’s… familiar. #americanhousewife https://t.co/ZYO3vsOH6b — Nathan Fillion (@NathanFillion) March 14, 2018 from http://twitter.com/NathanFillion via IFTTT

It’s only been a few hours and Stephen Hawking already mathematically proved, to My face, that I don’t exist. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 14, 2018 from http://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod via IFTTT

I always suspected Tarkin had a lovely singing voice https://t.co/BPDLEbF6YV #BLR — Darth Vader (@DarthVader) March 13, 2018 from http://twitter.com/DarthVader via IFTTT

I told my kids that at their age I had to watch VHS tapes on school safety, and they said “what’s school safety?” — Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 3, 2018 from http://twitter.com/ConanOBrien via IFTTT

Good God this movie was horrible and this podcast was SO fun. And there's a shocking surprise guest! Give it a listen! https://t.co/qZxYPg3IGf — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 2, 2018 from http://twitter.com/pattonoswalt via IFTTT

Why not? Would it make her feel bad? https://t.co/yPmttn2lxL — Alexandra Erin (@alexandraerin) February 23, 2018 from http://twitter.com/alexandraerin via IFTTT

upon learning that a friend of mine eats the peel when he eats an orange, I tried to eat an orange like an apple, and it was about 30% worse than I thought it was going to be — drewtoothpaste (@drewtoothpaste) February 23, 2018 from http://twitter.com/drewtoothpaste via IFTTT

Nerd Gun Facebook is convinced that a basic familiarity with firearms separates gun owners from normies, who should shut up about guns. Don’t be cowed. We’re talking about simple machines designed in the 1950s designed to be serviced by teenagers in a jungle. — Thomas H. Ptacek (@tqbf) February 22, 2018 from http://twitter.com/tqbf via IFTTT

College was more than twenty years ago. And yet I'm once again cooking most of my meals with appliances that I can hide when the RA is around. https://t.co/ggYhXkfj3t pic.twitter.com/4A67RgC2km — Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) February 14, 2018 from http://twitter.com/Ihnatko via IFTTT