I was cleaning out my old VoodooPad today and found this old blog draft. Probably didn’t immediately post this at the time because I assume it read a little embarrassing? Today I just find it confusing because 3 years later I still haven’t learned what Pirate Sex is exactly.

AFB: How was your V-Day?
Yellowbeard: well i didn’t get VD on VD so that’s good
AFB: Well, at least you know of
Yellowbeard: actually i fucking hate that holiday & didn’t acknolwdge its existence
AFB: mean either, You didn’t go out with J3?
Yellowbeard: no
AFB: O
Yellowbeard: but i did see her yesterday morning before werk does that count?
AFB: It depends, did you give her the hard one?
Yellowbeard: i don’t understand your question
AFB: Did you enter her
Yellowbeard: well ya how am i supposed to see her if she isn’t going to let me enter her apartment?
AFB: Not her apartment, HER
Yellowbeard: with what?
AFB: With your pp
Yellowbeard: you mean did i get her with my lady tickler?
AFB: Exactly
Yellowbeard: no she only wants to have pirate sex & until i can figure out WTF that is i am denied
AFB: Hmmm…
AFB: I think it envolves an eye patch and wooden leg’aparatus?
Yellowbeard: ya but do i wear the wooden leg or stick it in HER. is it bad form for me to do a DP move with my man meat & the wooden apparatus? & what if she gets a splinter how do you wood treat and instrument to avoid this?
AFB: Hmm… Good question……In fact, GREAT QUESTIONS… I guess you may just have to ask her the old fashion way… As hard as that maybe
AFB: Or maybe she wants you to give her a WHITE eye patch, did you think of that?
Yellowbeard: no i did not, but that sounds like a lot of fun. i tend to have good consistency & volume so I could easily block out an eye!!
AFB: Oh man
Yellowbeard: what is that not what you meant?
AFB: Oh yes it is, I just didint want to here about your volume, and particularily NOT of your consistancy
Yellowbeard: you know how i know that i have a high sperm count?
AFB: Because your reminded every Wednesday, Friday, and every other weekend?
Yellowbeard: no because when i make bitches eat it i can hear that it’s crunchy
Yellowbeard: nice job trying to screw up the punch line though
AFB: OH
AFB: And that is gross