{"id":14,"date":"2006-08-26T06:33:03","date_gmt":"2006-08-26T11:33:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michael.macosx.com\/blog\/?p=14"},"modified":"2006-08-26T06:33:03","modified_gmt":"2006-08-26T11:33:03","slug":"wake-up-shit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=14","title":{"rendered":"Wake Up Shit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever get woken up by an extreme need to take a shit?  Well that is what happened to me this morning.  I wanted to stay in bed and not get up.  Trying to lay there and resist the urge without success.  So rather than shitting the bed I made the short walk to the bathroom and unloaded.  The whole process took only about 30 seconds and I dropped the most disgusting load of 50\/50 liquid\/solid shit.  We are talking instant satisfaction here.  After I get cleaned up I tried to go back to sleep.  This was just not going to happen so here I am typing this at 6:30 am on a Saturday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever get woken up by an extreme need to take a shit? Well that is what happened to me this morning. I wanted to stay in bed and not get up. Trying to lay there and resist the urge without success. So rather than shitting the bed I made the short walk to the bathroom [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8MZA-e","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}