{"id":2812,"date":"2018-04-14T07:44:19","date_gmt":"2018-04-14T12:44:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=2812"},"modified":"2018-04-14T07:44:19","modified_gmt":"2018-04-14T12:44:19","slug":"favorite-tweets-208","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=2812","title":{"rendered":"Favorite tweets"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/AskPatton?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#AskPatton<\/a> Traveling salesman knocks on a door. Five year-old boy answers drinking a scotch and smoking a cigar. Traveling salesman asks him, &quot;Excuse me, little boy, are your parents home?&quot; Kids sips his scotch and says, &quot;What the fuck do you think?&quot; <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/NKRnuIluJ2\">https:\/\/t.co\/NKRnuIluJ2<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/pattonoswalt\/status\/984583690712899584?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">April 13, 2018<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/>\nfrom http:\/\/twitter.com\/pattonoswalt<br \/>\nvia <a href=\"https:\/\/ifttt.com\/?ref=da&#038;site=wordpress\">IFTTT<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>#AskPatton Traveling salesman knocks on a door. Five year-old boy answers drinking a scotch and smoking a cigar. Traveling salesman asks him, &quot;Excuse me, little boy, are your parents home?&quot; Kids sips his scotch and says, &quot;What the fuck do you think?&quot; https:\/\/t.co\/NKRnuIluJ2 &mdash; Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 13, 2018 from http:\/\/twitter.com\/pattonoswalt via IFTTT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[80,81],"class_list":["post-2812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ifttt","tag-twitter"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8MZA-Jm","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2812","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2812"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2812\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2813,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2812\/revisions\/2813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}