{"id":1421,"date":"2010-05-23T12:41:45","date_gmt":"2010-05-23T17:41:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=1421"},"modified":"2010-05-23T12:44:54","modified_gmt":"2010-05-23T17:44:54","slug":"3-yr-old-im-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=1421","title":{"rendered":"3 Yr Old IM Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I was cleaning out my old VoodooPad today and found this old blog draft. Probably didn’t immediately post this at the time because I assume it read a little embarrassing? Today I just find it confusing because 3 years later I still haven’t learned what Pirate Sex is exactly.<\/p>\n

AFB:<\/strong> How was your V-Day?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> well i didn’t get VD on VD so that’s good
AFB:<\/strong> Well, at least you know of
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> actually i fucking hate that holiday & didn’t acknolwdge its existence
AFB:<\/strong> mean either, You didn’t go out with J3?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> no
AFB:<\/strong> O
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> but i did see her yesterday morning before werk does that count?
AFB:<\/strong> It depends, did you give her the hard one?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> i don’t understand your question
AFB:<\/strong> Did you enter her
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> well ya how am i supposed to see her if she isn’t going to let me enter her apartment?
AFB:<\/strong> Not her apartment, HER
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> with what?
AFB:<\/strong> With your pp
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> you mean did i get her with my lady tickler?
AFB:<\/strong> Exactly
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> no she only wants to have pirate sex & until i can figure out WTF that is i am denied
AFB:<\/strong> Hmmm…
AFB:<\/strong> I think it envolves an eye patch and wooden leg’aparatus?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> ya but do i wear the wooden leg or stick it in HER. is it bad form for me to do a DP move with my man meat & the wooden apparatus? & what if she gets a splinter how do you wood treat and instrument to avoid this?
AFB:<\/strong> Hmm… Good question……In fact, GREAT QUESTIONS… I guess you may just have to ask her the old fashion way… As hard as that maybe
AFB:<\/strong> Or maybe she wants you to give her a WHITE eye patch, did you think of that?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> no i did not, but that sounds like a lot of fun. i tend to have good consistency & volume so I could easily block out an eye!!
AFB:<\/strong> Oh man
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> what is that not what you meant?
AFB:<\/strong> Oh yes it is, I just didint want to here about your volume, and particularily NOT of your consistancy
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> you know how i know that i have a high sperm count?
AFB:<\/strong> Because your reminded every Wednesday, Friday, and every other weekend?
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> no because when i make bitches eat it i can hear that it’s crunchy
Yellowbeard:<\/strong> nice job trying to screw up the punch line though
AFB:<\/strong> OH
AFB:<\/strong> And that is gross<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was cleaning out my old VoodooPad today and found this old blog draft. Probably didn’t immediately post this at the time because I assume it read a little embarrassing? Today I just find it confusing because 3 years later I still haven’t learned what Pirate Sex is exactly. AFB: How was your V-Day?Yellowbeard: well […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-im"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8MZA-mV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1421"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1426,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421\/revisions\/1426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}