{"id":1309,"date":"2009-12-12T21:44:17","date_gmt":"2009-12-13T02:44:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=1309"},"modified":"2009-12-12T21:45:21","modified_gmt":"2009-12-13T02:45:21","slug":"yankee-swap-2009","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/?p=1309","title":{"rendered":"Yankee Swap 2009 Complete"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

The party was basically<\/a> a huge success as usual. I only have two complaints.<\/p>\n

1. Of course I showed up with the “>ugliest sweater<\/a> and won the contest. It felt GREAT to win, but someone stole my fucking prize!?!? Now I have evidence and still don’t know who actually did it, but I have a theory. The couple that I stole the gift from in the end were strangers to me. I believe that I met the dude before? At the time he had a different girlfriend whom wanted his babies, and was willing to fuck him with the door to their hotel room open. Clearly he made a bad decision in dumping her and her huge boobies. I forgive him due to his track record of bad judgement. He must have though that at any time he could just steal the gift back. Honest mistake right? Next year I will make sure to include detailed rules on the invite.<\/p>\n

2.\tOther complaint was that I was unable to take the best gift at the party. This was, of course, J\u00e4germeister and a fake tit! Unfortunately, I was unable to claim the tit along with the booze to make it more enjoyable, but as you can see from the video below I did get a chance to enjoy it.<\/p>\n

2.1\tOh and motherfuckers need to send me their pictures for posting here for all to enjoy and shit. Yeah<\/p>\n

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The party was basically a huge success as usual. I only have two complaints. 1. Of course I showed up with the “>ugliest sweater and won the contest. It felt GREAT to win, but someone stole my fucking prize!?!? Now I have evidence and still don’t know who actually did it, but I have a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[14,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pictures","category-youtube"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8MZA-l7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1309"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1314,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309\/revisions\/1314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hjays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}